Fighting the Disease

15 months recovered, forever at peace.

Today marks my 16 month anniversary…

On February 1st, 2011 … I decided to make a change and move forward in recovery. And here I am today, 16 months later…I have two jobs that are supporting me enough to pay my bills and, support my kitten, and put food in my stomach. I am entering my final year as an undergrad in September.  I am preparing myself for the GREs so I can apply to graduate school. I am running consistently and building myself up to my goals. I am at a healthy weight, my digestive system isn’t completely destroyed anymore, my throat doesn’t burn with acid and tears. I have been through two surgeries and have recovered extremely well. I have taken my support group, my circle of friends, and my family in a positive direction. I am proud of myself.

Funny thing…I declared today a stretch and relax day…

And after I showered and painted my nails and was about to get ready for work, I put Ellie Goulding’s “Lights” on..and I just spent the past 45 minutes making up my own cardio routines to different songs. Jumping and dancing and squatting and bending and lunging…it was fun and I definitely worked up a sweat.

It feels fantastic to stretch these legs.  The humidity has gone away, the sun is shining bright, I don’t have work until 4:00… I’m going to the beach to read!

It feels fantastic to stretch these legs. 

The humidity has gone away, the sun is shining bright, I don’t have work until 4:00… I’m going to the beach to read!

Today is stretch and rest day :)

Today is stretch and rest day :)

sweatmorebleedless asked: sweaty and gorgeous!

Ahhh thank you my darling! Always a pleasure to receive your comments and compliments :)

MMMMSOSWEATY. As promised, I did a great jump rope and lunge circuit, then I finished up with a 2.3 mile run. Today was a great workout day. Now its movie time with Lacey (the kitty) and one of my good friends who lives on the island!  

MMMMSOSWEATY.


As promised, I did a great jump rope and lunge circuit, then I finished up with a 2.3 mile run. Today was a great workout day.

Now its movie time with Lacey (the kitty) and one of my good friends who lives on the island!  

Going for another run then working on my legs…after which I’ll enjoy a nice long stretch, a cup of hot tea, and a movie and/or book.

Going for another run then working on my legs…after which I’ll enjoy a nice long stretch, a cup of hot tea, and a movie and/or book.

arilumiere:

So beautiful. We finally get to see her practice in real-time! Super slow and soulful, like I expected.

(via healthysoul)

dirtylittlebreezeblocks: an0th3r-b0ttl3-d0wn: tumblr this is the worst idea ever. i’d die before i ever linked tumblr to facebook I’VE BEEN THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING EVERY TIME I LOOK AT MY DASH. WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT.

dirtylittlebreezeblocks:

an0th3r-b0ttl3-d0wn:

tumblr this is the worst idea ever.

i’d die before i ever linked tumblr to facebook

I’VE BEEN THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING EVERY TIME I LOOK AT MY DASH. WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT.

h0tcelebs: When the maker of tumblr is on your dashboard, always reblog. Number one rule of Tumblr. What hot daddy? Compared to the other two……sure. lol Ow owww 

h0tcelebs:

When the maker of tumblr is on your dashboard, always reblog.

Number one rule of Tumblr.

What hot daddy? Compared to the other two……sure. lol

Ow owww 

(Source: tumblr.com, via thinner2012)

ishouldbewhat replied to your photo: :\ Your best tip will be to just accept it and move on. Every female celebrity has SOME. Almost all females have some. Men have it too. It’s a natural thing. Like hair, birthmarks, moles… etc. It just is.

You’re absolutely right. I think another important tip I should always remember is to not compare myself to other people…that is something I constantly do, consciously or subconsciously. The way I’m conceptualizing this…I’m going to work hard to tone my legs and lift my butt. My reward will not only be an ever-improving healthy life style, but a decreased appearance of my cellulite.  It won’t fully go away, its not something I should obsess over (which is one of many reasons for why I wanted to share this..I’m going to need some outside voices to keep me in line).  Perfection is a made-up concept and I don’t expect to be perfect, I just want to be comfortable.

Thank you for your input…just as when I share any other sensitive part of my life and I find support..this is no exception. I have moments where I feel like the spotlight is on me and my imperfections. However, being on the beach this weekend proved me wrong. Ironically enough, I feel like the beach is where most people put their body worries aside. Everyone is vulnerable, everyone has a struggle, but everyone is out there showing it all off…dimples, muscles, bones, fat, tattoos, piercings, scars, white skin, tanned skin, dark skin. Very interesting and empowering.

As I’m goofing off doing handstands around my apartment for no apparent reason, I decided to set a new goal for myself. 96.999999 percent of my body insecurities arise from the fat around my thighs and butt…and the ever so dreadful cellulite.  I’ve always been too embarrassed to talk about it, to write about it, to seek help and ask questions…but it rips apart my mind and triggers the most haunting/hateful/horrifying thoughts.  I’ve had terrible visions of me harming myself, I’ve had panic attacks and break downs before a beach trip because my mind is over-exaggerating how my legs look.  SO I have decided…that I’m going to face my issue and do something to fix the problem. Cellulite is extremely difficult to completely get rid of.  It could take years and years and years of a consistent clean diet, cardo, and strength training.  However, I can reduce its appearance, tone up my butt and legs, and get a great work out in. 80-90% of women are affected by cellulite…it could be a result of a poor diet, of dehydration, an inactive lifestyle, or genetics (thanks mom.) Whatever the reason, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not alone and I have nothing to fear but fear itself. With that being said…I’m not one to sit around and just let things slide. My plan:  Drink lots and lots and lots of water. Continue my running streak and continuously improve my cardio. Add exercises that specifically target my problem areas (glutes, hamstrings, and quads) Other parts are more noticeable than others..so its important to cover all the areas. Typically when I do strength-training workouts…I do them at random and with no set structure.  I’m not trying to bulk up, I’m trying to tighten and tone.  I’ll need to do my research and stay dedicated to a customized program. Results do not happen overnight.  There will be days where I get down on myself, there will be days where I want to show off my legs.   I’m excited, and as I sit here writing this, I’m tapping my foot repetitively because its still an uncomfortable subject for me to discuss, but enough is enough, no more hiding. Tips are welcome :) 

As I’m goofing off doing handstands around my apartment for no apparent reason, I decided to set a new goal for myself.

96.999999 percent of my body insecurities arise from the fat around my thighs and butt…and the ever so dreadful cellulite. 

I’ve always been too embarrassed to talk about it, to write about it, to seek help and ask questions…but it rips apart my mind and triggers the most haunting/hateful/horrifying thoughts.  I’ve had terrible visions of me harming myself, I’ve had panic attacks and break downs before a beach trip because my mind is over-exaggerating how my legs look. 

SO I have decided…that I’m going to face my issue and do something to fix the problem.

Cellulite is extremely difficult to completely get rid of.  It could take years and years and years of a consistent clean diet, cardo, and strength training.  However, I can reduce its appearance, tone up my butt and legs, and get a great work out in.

80-90% of women are affected by cellulite…it could be a result of a poor diet, of dehydration, an inactive lifestyle, or genetics (thanks mom.) Whatever the reason, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not alone and I have nothing to fear but fear itself.

With that being said…I’m not one to sit around and just let things slide.

My plan: 

Drink lots and lots and lots of water.

Continue my running streak and continuously improve my cardio.

Add exercises that specifically target my problem areas (glutes, hamstrings, and quads) Other parts are more noticeable than others..so its important to cover all the areas. Typically when I do strength-training workouts…I do them at random and with no set structure.  I’m not trying to bulk up, I’m trying to tighten and tone.  I’ll need to do my research and stay dedicated to a customized program.

Results do not happen overnight.  There will be days where I get down on myself, there will be days where I want to show off my legs.  

I’m excited, and as I sit here writing this, I’m tapping my foot repetitively because its still an uncomfortable subject for me to discuss, but enough is enough, no more hiding.

Tips are welcome :)