My Goals and Aspirations
Those of you who have taken the time to read a little bit about me from my blog, or have been following me will know that I have dealt with an eating disorder for quite some time now and I am on a steady road to recovery.
I do not think there will ever be a day where I don’t think about the foods I eat, and I don’t think there will ever come a time where I stop analyzing my body. However, I strongly believe that I am going to reach the highest possible level of success that I never could have imagined.
For a very long time, during my recovery, I began to maintain food in small amounts. Now its time to break the habit of eating too few calories. Its time to stop making excuses. I am strong enough to push myself harder and longer. I am strong enough to face my obstacles head on and fight for the win. This is not about maintaining small amounts of food anymore. This is not just about being satisfied with the end to purging. I’ve done that. Now its time to set some new goals to keep me on track.
I have new goals for myself, I’ve reached my previous goals, which I am extremely proud of, but its time to go farther in my recovery. I am going to get my body into the best shape its ever been in. I’m not going to wish for the body that I want..I’m going to make it happen. I am going to condition myself to work out with good form, an adaption to high intensity and fight off the voice inside my head that tells me I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be the skinniest girl I know. I want to have a solid body with beautiful tone and definition. A body that will make me proud. I will achieve a strong body that is lean and powerful, feminine but far from soft. This body has been through so much and now its time to grow, so the next time I am hit with an attack, I won’t hesitate to fight back.
I also have a goal that focuses on eating. No more of this less than 1,000 calorie bullshit. Recently (as of June 7th,2011 approximately) I have been trying my hardest to consume over 1,000 calories. Its been tough, but the more I listen to my body, the more I come to understand that I NEED those calories. I need the protein to build newer, stronger, and leaner muscle. I need the carbohydrates to fuel my energy and the fat to be stored for later use. I need my vitamins and minerals to keep everything functioning properly. The only way I am going to obtain these essential nutrients is by eating an adequate amount of calories. I can and will do this.
I’m not expecting perfection. Nothing is perfect. I am expecting to face a lot of challenges. I am expecting to have bad days as well as awesome days. I am expecting to be pressured and tested. I am expecting to be hurt and stressed and anxious.
BUT….
I will accept these challenges, I will take these negative feelings head on, and I will make the best of them and continue to grow and succeed. I will not fall down, and if I do happen to fall, you can bet that I’ll be right back on my feet in a matter of minutes.
