Tuna fish and relish is a Godsend.

My interview went well!

I picked out a nice interview outfit — Since I found out about my interview I figured I’d go out and buy myself some new clothes but I found this dress in my closet that I haven’t worn in about two years and the blazer I bought a year ago. Money well saved!

The woman I met with was so kind and I could immediately tell she had a big heart. I went to a vocational day program and we chatted in her office. While in there I got a sense of the atmosphere. I hope hope hope that I get a call back. I’ll know in about two weeks. Fingers crossed!!

Then I made lunch! Sauteed veggies and a veggie burger with sesame ginger dressing and green tea :)

I have a very big day today!

I have an interview in about two hours!! Over the past week and a half I have been very nervous, and very excited. But the past couple of days I have been able to really relax myself through yoga, meditation, and keeping a positive mentality. I know nothing is guaranteed, of course, but I do feel confident in myself and my presentation and what I have to offer.

To continue my relaxing state of mind I woke up early this morning, gave myself a facial, took a long hot shower, and I sunk into the warmth and compassion of my being. I also took notice to my body and how much I love myself, and that self-support and self-love makes anything possible.

I love my natural body, my scar, my skin, my everything.

And my booty too! ;)

I also prepared for myself a delicious breakfast this morning to make my stomach and appetite content and to give me a boost of energy for the day!

Egg whites, Jewish toasted rye, sliced bananas, grapes, and coffee of course :)

After a mini pedicure and manicure I just treated myself with, I’m going to finish getting ready for this interview! Wish me luck!

Ahhh…breakfast awaits.

Just look how welcoming that is…and I must say it was quite enjoyable.

And this little guy just wants his mom to share the awesome-ness

If you’ve never had a soy protein burger, you’ve never lived.

My boyfriend just cooked me flounder, angel hair pasta, and zucchini for dinner.

Hi my name is Jacqui and I fall more and more in love each day. Its the little things, really.

On the first of the month, I always reflect back on when I began my recovery journey.

And to the days when I was eating only 400-500 calories a day and exercising. How did I manage to do it? How did I have enough energy to live and still be so exuberant and think I was okay? Even now when I’m in class and I’m late for lunch its hard to concentrate when I am legitimately hungry. I couldn’t be as productive and positive as I am if that were my life style still.

Lunch Time!

Thanks to my handsome boyfriend, I had some awesome garden fresh veggies to cook with today…

So I made whole grain angel hair pasta, grilled eggplant, zucchini, and cucumber, and sauteed tomatoes, green bell peppers, and broccoli. I also treated myself to a delicious glass of White Zinfandel…

And I ate it all in about 5 minutes because I was starving…

And to also note, classes were great today. Very interactive, very relevant, very enjoyable. Now I have all day and night to do my readings and maybe take a quiz that won’t be due until Thursday. I might also go for a bike ride!

Happy Tuesday :)

Had a little moment…

Sometimes you really need to treat yourself.

I got a little fancy with lunch, i.e., I felt it necessary to drink my water from a wine glass and flavor it with lemon.

I went to my meditation class last night, and it helped tremendously.

I needed that hour to be alone with my thoughts…away from the distractions of people, television, studying, the phone..etc. What I realized is that in the midst of all of my anxiety I’ve been hoarding away a lot of thoughts that..if dealt with immediately, I would be okay, but because I’m disregarding my own mind..those hoarded thoughts have become dangerous. Not dangerous in a sense that I’ll physically hurt myself, dangerous in the sense that I’ve been ruminating negativity and it has taken a toll on my life.

The meditation was so beautiful…I felt like I opened the windows to air out my musty mind. I got a full night’s sleep and woke up before my alarm went off. This morning I went out for a 2 mile run, 1 mile on the street and 1 mile on the beach. I felt like I was flying. I haven’t felt that free on a run in a couple of weeks. At the end I went out to the water line and I stretched for about 15 minutes and then I sat in the sand and did a 15 minute meditation. Its been a low humidity morning as well..so I really felt like I could breathe better.

I topped my morning off with a delicious breakfast:

1 whole egg, 1 egg white with flax seed, extra virgin olive oil, and apple cider vinegar.
Sauteed green and red bell peppers, chopped tomatoes
Activia Light vanilla yogurt and a sprinkle of cinnamon
Sliced banana
Raisin bran cereal for crunch :)

Its been shaping up to be a very relaxing, enjoyable day. I’m aiming to continue this pleasantry for the next 12-13 hours

I’ve had a lot to write about, but I haven’t had the energy to actually write it all.

I have filled the Tumblr world in about my anxiety..but I promise you, there are other things going on in my life that I am quite content with.

For instance, the food I’m eating

50/50 Spinach and Spring mix greens
Organic whole wheat pasta
Chopped green beans, tomato, green and red bell pepper
Sliced and peeled cucumber and zucchini
A mix of quinoa and brown rice
A bit of hummus on top

Sometimes I put these fun things into a wrap and enjoy every single bite

I’ve also been doing lots of running…

In the beginning and middle of summer I went for distance. 4 miles, 6, 8, 10..I’ve met my goals for distance..but my heart is now somewhere else. From swimming to field hockey and lacrosse..I’ve always been a sprinter. In the pool I owned the 50 meter races. In lacrosse and field hockey I played defense and dominated the back field with my sprint to the ball and my force in the swing or throw. That desire to sprint, that challenge to go faster..has been showing its face lately. I’ll run at a steady pace anywhere from 1-2-3 miles..and then when I turn around to head home, I’ll sprint. Walk, run, sprint, walk, run, sprint..until I make it back to my apartment…then I do a cool down jog. Its been awesome.

And of course, I’ve been spending time at the beach.

Its been much needed. Especially today. I took a personal day to relieve me of the anxiety attack from last night. My day included:

Studying
Grad school research
Bike ride
Ocean swimming
3 mile walk on the beach
Meditation
Awesome food
Peace and quiet

Tomorrow will most likely be very similar. I don’t mind at all.

Sometimes you have so much to say, and when the time comes to say it..you completely go blank and enjoy the stillness of your mind.

Also…

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